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lyrics

I think I’m fucked
I think I’m crazy
I think I’m too far gone
and I can’t wait to tell you how I went outside
and went back in today
Or how I wasted all those chances
cos I never realized it when you were standing right before me
And I need to grow up and get out of my head
I’m set up for success but I can’t wait to fail
You said the first step is always the hardest
and then things will get better
Then you smiled and asked me what I thought

and I said first step? You want to talk about a first step?
I can’t really think straight
and sometimes I get too caught up in dreaming
Like it was ever going to happen
that the world would accept one more sign
And make me tow the party line and whisper
Into the phone to tell you
That I think I’m being watched and I’m not sure if barricades will win

Why look to tomorrow when you can’t cope with today
If you had died 6 months ago there wouldn’t be a chance
for you to want to die now,
You’d be free and be remembered as a success
and you wouldn’t have to deal with the difficulties
of creating something you don’t want to make
You want to disappear
into a bed, a bag, and a bottle

I said Regret? You want to know what that looks like?
I’m not seeing double but it isn’t 3 o clock yet
And I wonder how long I can fake it
Before I get lost in the bathroom
and stumble to the front desk and throw up
And leave a reminder that this night is going on
and no pill’s going to stop me, much less you

Teacher, get me out of this death trap
Teach me about better things
and take away the bad thoughts
Ask me questions
Make me feel like I'm worthless
But keep me going every day
and what's the point in acting like I don't care?
Or like I hate the attention?
This is my everything
Without it I'm a man without a dream.

credits

from Wake Up, Brush Your Teeth, and Get Blasted!, released December 19, 2018

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about

Nisan Farber Minneapolis, Minnesota

Punk musician/songwriter from Minneapolis, MN.

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